THE CRY OF A BED-WETTER

Apostle Paul of the Bible said "When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things.

Perhaps, this would have been my testimony too, if my bladder acted more mature.

On a daily basis, I sleep with fear and tension. My heart races fast and feels heavy. The tension is more, if I had someone sharing the bed with me. Will I not get disgraced again?

The fear in my heart, robs me of good sleep. Sometimes, when I open my eyes, in the middle of the night, with my heart beating fast, I would hurriedly check my bedspreads, to be sure the nemesis has not happened, again.

I remember how as a child, I got beaten from my sleep. Getting sudden lashes from your sleep as early as 1am, 2am, is not what you will ever pray for. The brain could be traumatized and some cells could be damaged. 

A bed-wetter suffers more during the rainy season. Many times I had to sleep on the cold bare floor because I couldn't get my tattered clothes and mats dried during the day. Of course, nobody would want to give clean clothes to a bed-wetter at night, without grumbling or complaining.

As I grew up, I kept thinking I would outgrow the nemesis. I was hoping for a quick healing. But I've waited for many years and nothing seems to be changing. 

Travelling remains a tragedy. Is it not better to keep my shame under my roof?

At the very slightest sleep, I get wet! I have no idea how this happens! Most nights, I would majestically walk down to the bathroom, bend down and comfortably void my bladder, only to open my eyes and discover that it was a reality that slipped into the realm of my dream. How do I explain this? Is this how dreams come true? 

The soaked bed, the wet sheets, the oozing odour of the urine gas, the smelly room, the complaints and abuses from relatives; they are all enough to earn me a bad day. 

Whenever it happens, for the fear of being discovered, I would stick to my bed, like a branch sticks to the vine, pretending to be enjoying the sleep or the comfort of my bed.

That is just a cover-up. I remain in bed, longer than expected, in order to exert pressure on the wet part of my mattress, with the hope that it gets dried, before anyone notices it. I dare not move away from the spot, until it is dried or I find an escape route.

I painfully bear my shameful cross, daily. The dripping mat, the smelly bed, the daily laundry, the extra cost of water and soap. The cross is indeed, heavy. 

I do laundry with fear and agitation. Emotional restlessness is always written all over me. I shuffle my urine clothes together with other dirty clothes, while looking left and right, just to be sure no one is watching me. Must my heart beat fast each time I want to do laundry? Why do I deserve this? This has to stop! I am tired!

I am called several ridiculous names, by those who ought to help. "You have been cursed! You are so shameless!" I wonder if they have an idea of what I am going through. I wonder if they know how bad I want my healing. 

This is my fate, on a daily basis. But it is not my fault.

I know it is hard, to cope with someone with an uncultured bladder. But the cruelty and hatred complicates the problem. 

Trust me, I strongly desire to stay dry on all nights. I desire to be free. I desire to be more confident in my sleep. 

No one is happy, messing up every night. 

No one is happy, getting embarrassed.

I am not happy!

Please, 

Help me. Don't stigmatize me.

Support me. Don't blame me.

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Heartily dedicated to everyone who is having the bed-wetting disorder.

I had been where you are today and I know how stressful and traumatic it is to be a victim of this esteem-draining disorder.

Trust me, this is not the end of your life. You are made for the best experience. Help is on the way. Till then, stay sane and hopeful. 

Peace!

Tolu Joseph

Bed-wetting Advocate